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Friday, May 8, 2020

Thank God for Persistent Moms

While it is a day where we gush about mothers and all the wonderful things they have done or are doing in our lives I would also like to talk about real life for mothers also.

  A mother of 5 children was asked one time, if she had the opportunity to go back, would she do it all over again – she replied sure, just not the same ones. 😊

  I came across a job description for mom’s and I feel that seeing as we are talking about reality it would be good to share this with all the husbands and children today.

Long term team players for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours that will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required including trips to primitive campsites on rainy weekends and endless sports events in faraway towns and cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.

For the rest of your life – must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs money.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly also must possess the stamina of a packed mule.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
 Must have the ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery operated devices.
Must always be prepared for the best but expect the worst. 
Must assume final complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Possibility for advancement and promotion? None! Your job is to remain in the same position for years and decades, without complaining, constantly retraining or updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Previous experience: none required, fortunately. On the job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Wages & Compensation:
Get this – you pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses in the process. A balloon payment is expected when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. (and we all laugh at that).
When you die you give them all the rest. The oddest thing about this reverse salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and you wish you could only do more.

While health and dental insurance is not guaranteed, there will be no pension plan, tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered, this job however supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for a lifetime if you play your cards right.   

With a little not-far from the truth humor - we honor all Mothers on this Sunday for the sacrifices they make daily to leave a lasting legacy for their children to follow.


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